[00:00:00] [00:00:00] Sophia Lebano: [00:00:00] Hi guys. What’s up. Welcome back to another episode of Hear and now podcast. I am so, so, so excited to welcome Gemma Howard today. She is just an amazing person and I just, I was so happy to have her come on the show. So hi, Gemma. Welcome.
[00:00:12] Gemma Howard: [00:00:12] Hi, thank you so much for having me. I’m really excited. You’re so welcome.
[00:00:16] Sophia Lebano: [00:00:16] So let us tell us right off what, who are you? What’s your story?
[00:00:21] Gemma Howard: [00:00:21] Um, well, I’m Gemma Howard. I am 18 and I am about to have a baby, a little baby girl. Um, she’s due actually Thursday, so, oh my gosh. Yep. Hopefully going to have her here soon, but, um, the oldest kids, I’m like prepared for this baby to come and hopefully that’ll be very soon.
[00:00:44] Sophia Lebano: [00:00:44] Yeah. Oh my gosh. So how old are your siblings?
[00:00:46] Gemma Howard: [00:00:46] So after me, I’ve got my sister Jacinta. She’s 16 Aliyah. Who’s 13 Beckett. Who’s 10 Philomena. Who’s five and Petra who is 12 months old almost.
[00:00:59] Sophia Lebano: [00:00:59] Oh my gosh. Wow. Yeah. So you are prepared,
[00:01:03] Gemma Howard: [00:01:03] had a lot of practice.
[00:01:05] Sophia Lebano: [00:01:05] That’s so awesome. And their names are so beautiful. Oh my gosh.
[00:01:08] Gemma Howard: [00:01:08] I know we’ve got pretty fun names.
[00:01:10] Sophia Lebano: [00:01:10] You’re you know, you’re a Catholic family.
[00:01:14] Gemma Howard: [00:01:14] When people are like, where did you get that one from? You know, you know, you’re from a Catholic family, so,
[00:01:19] Sophia Lebano: [00:01:19] oh my gosh. Philomena. I love it. Yes. I mean, it’s on my future baby less, but I love it. So, yeah. So you said you’re almost a young mom.
[00:01:28] Do you want to give us a little dive into that story for us?
[00:01:32] Gemma Howard: [00:01:32] Sure. I mean, A long story in the sense of like, it’s got a lot of background, but the most recent of just, I found out, obviously that I’m gonna have a baby. And, um, you know, at the time I was in a really unhealthy relationship and I was trying to get out before I even knew I was pregnant.
[00:01:55] So like weeks before I knew I was pregnant, I. Was really trying to just separate myself from my boyfriend at the time. Um, not headed in the right direction. And I was ready to just get out of that and start fresh. And then my mom actually came to visit me and that’s when we all found out and it all blew up and it was a really scary time.
[00:02:20] It was like three in the morning and it was, my mom was like, you need to take a pregnancy test Gemma. And I was like, what’s going on? I was freaking out and. Then I found out I was having a baby, um, which just, I’ve always been like, oh, I want a baby. I want a baby. And then I was like, I’m having a baby. And it wasn’t an exact, exactly the most exciting, exciting moment of my life, which breaks my heart to say, now that I am at the point where I’m like excited for the life that I’m bringing to the world, but it was pretty terrifying to be like, I’m trying to get out of a relationship.
[00:02:56] But now I’m going to have a baby and I’m 17 [00:03:00] at the time. Yeah. And so that’s kind of how it all like started. And then my journey since then has just been one of insane craziness and growth, but it’s been yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:03:16] Sophia Lebano: [00:03:16] I love it. Yeah. Wow. That’s crazy. So you guys are not together right anymore.
[00:03:23] Gemma Howard: [00:03:23] Well, the sad thing was so.
[00:03:26] One of the biggest things in that relationship was just the — he was a very controlling person and he just didn’t, he just didn’t love me the way that a woman should be loved. Um, but when he eventually found out, I knew and where a lot of my pro-life comes in, that I’m glad I had that background was I had this struggle in the beginning of.
[00:03:51] You know, I actually battled with the thought of, am I going to keep this baby because which just breaks my heart, but I, I did, I had this moment of, I don’t want, I don’t want to be trapped in a relationship with someone that I. That isn’t right. And also, I don’t want to be a young mother, like I’m not ready for this.
[00:04:10] And I had that battle. Um, and then when I finally kept it, he eventually found out and we were not talking and there was a lot of drama. Pain and just persistence on his end of he, he wanted to be the father and I just knew, and I was like, you cannot be the father of this baby. Um, which is hard. Cause I’m in my I’m very family oriented.
[00:04:37] And I think a father is such an important role, but at the same time, I was like, I. I’m sorry. Um, and so haven’t talked to him for months and I found out in March, he actually took his life.
[00:04:51] Sophia Lebano: [00:04:51] Oh, wow.
[00:04:52] Gemma Howard: [00:04:52] Yeah. So that was another kind of rock in the road of like, oh my goodness. Um, moment, which is crazy. Cause I had been praying.
[00:05:02] I was like, Lord, I need you. I need you to find a way for me to have this baby and not have to be in a legal battle with this father for the next several years. I don’t want to do that for myself. And I don’t want to do that. It was just kind of like, uh, Man the way I think God works is just mindblowing, but.
[00:05:27] That was kind of this time, but yeah.
[00:05:29] Sophia Lebano: [00:05:29] Wow. That’s crazy. Well, I’m very sorry to hear that, but I mean, it is kind of crazy how God works and situations like that, you know, it’s obviously not something that you would have ever expected like that, but, you know, he gives, it takes away. So in this moment there’s a lot of moving parts, but you did mention something, um, that I’d wanted to touch on a lot is, you know, choosing life, you know, your.
[00:05:54] 17/18 years old. Um, was it something that had always been part of your, your life growing [00:06:00] up to choose life? If that makes sense?
[00:06:02] Gemma Howard: [00:06:02] Yeah, it was, I have two very strong Catholic parents. Um, one’s a doctor in theology, so I had a lot of faith growing up and it was always like, especially like, yeah. Um, but. Yeah, no, it was definitely a major theme in my life.
[00:06:22] Not necessarily. It was like Gemma, you are pro-life, but it was just how we lived. The people I got to interact with. Um, six years ago, my family or my parents even started their own ministry called her Oak families oriented all about just like family and faith. And so that was just a big part, um, that I got to have in my life.
[00:06:42] Jason Jones was one of them. He actually produced the book. Bella, he does a lot of, from young age, it was instilled in me of like, we are a pro-life family and we support life, which was amazing. But until now, really, I haven’t really fully grasped what it means to be pro-life, which I think is something now that I’m very happy that I get to fully be like, I know what it means to be your whole life Val, but it definitely was a major part of my childhood for sure.
[00:07:13] Sophia Lebano: [00:07:13] Yeah, absolutely. Um, that’s so true. I mean, you don’t know that you’re, I mean, you know, you’re pro-life and you can walk in and you can talk about it all the time, but when you are faced with a moment like this, I’m sure you’ve completely solidified your decision. And it was like, yeah, this is what pro life really means.
[00:07:28] Gemma Howard: [00:07:28] Yeah. And that’s why I’m so thankful. Like, looking back now, I’m very thankful that I had to have that battle with myself of am I going to choose life or not? Because it really did put to the test of like, You know, am I going to fall back on who I was for? Like the three years ish before this? Where I probably, you know, if someone came up to me and was like, I’m gonna have an abortion, I probably would’ve been like, oh, okay.
[00:07:55] And I wouldn’t have done much to stop it. And I wasn’t strong in that aspect. So having to go through that battle and being like, Gemma, are you, are you going to choose life? Are you strong enough right now to. Actually like literally live what you believe has been something very beautiful that I’ve come to notice in the last couple months of like, yes, I hate that I had to battle with it, but now that I have it just solidifies even more.
[00:08:23] Precious life has become to me. And I think that’s really cool. Yeah.
[00:08:27] Sophia Lebano: [00:08:27] So beautiful. Oh, that’s so amazing. Um, I had a conversation with, um, Alison Centofante from a live action a couple of months ago, and you know, they always put out all these videos about how it really, they, they, you know, they go up to people on the street and they show them videos of what an abortion actually looks like.
[00:08:45] And it’s heavy for people to see that. I think to have it from the side of like, I had to go through that myself. And I know that it’s a hard topic for a lot of people to talk about, but I’m glad that there are [00:09:00] people in our generation that are talking about it. Like so kudos to you for standing up for what you believe in being an actual Testament to what it means to be pro-life.
[00:09:10] So. Beautiful thing to watch, which it feels funny. Cause it’s, you know, watch, I met you on social media. Um, how did it feel to share your story? How does it feel to share your story with the world, for people to see you?
[00:09:24] Gemma Howard: [00:09:24] Oh gosh, it’s getting more and more exciting as I continue to share it. It was pretty nerve wracking.
[00:09:31] In the beginning, especially when I first, like I made one post, I think, and I was like, okay, well, the news is out. I can’t really hide it anymore. But for the long time, I was like, I want to hide this. I want to keep this to myself. I don’t want anybody to know, like, if people do find out it’s because I tell them one-on-one and I mean, to the point that I was wearing like hoodies in like two degree weather, I was like, I do not want this to show no matter how hot or sweaty I may feel, but oh, But then, I don’t know, at a certain point, I think it was finally like I had this voice that I was, I mean, I’m gonna credit God.
[00:10:11] Um, but he like just this voice of like, you need to stop hiding from this and you need to, you know, people know, and at this point you’re just running away from something that can be really beautiful. And so. Now that I’m starting to share more. It’s actually been really exciting. Um, and I look forward to where it’s going to go in terms of how hope my hope is, reach other young women who a lot of the time, I feel like you’re just giving me advice and you didn’t actually experience this and you feel kind of like you have no right to tell me what to do.
[00:10:50] And now it’s kinda like, well, I know how it. I know, I know what it means to choose life and the struggles that come along with it. And I want to be that bird. It’s like getting to kind of figure out how I’m going to share that has actually been really, really exciting and fun. Yeah.
[00:11:12] Sophia Lebano: [00:11:12] That’s awesome. Yeah. I mean, I remember somebody shared it and it kind of just, I would say it went viral because every person I followed, like had.
[00:11:21] Your original post. Um, it was either yours or your mom’s. It was so crazy. And I was like, wow, this girl is so cool. Like, I know it’s a sticky situation, but she seems like she’s making the best out of it, you know? Um, and you know, in that time you got your pilot license, which I know I’m jumping around, but tell us about that.
[00:11:39]Gemma Howard: [00:11:39] That was a godsend to get that done in the timeframe that I did, because I’d been working on that. Two and a half, three years. And I’ve been bouncing around across the states a little bit like the past couple of months and I hadn’t been flying and I was like, there’s no way I’m going to get it done before this baby comes.
[00:11:58] And I can’t fly with a [00:12:00] newborn. Like, I don’t think that’ll work. Um, but yeah, once I got, cause at the time when I found out I was pregnant, I was in Colorado. Um, as a nanny for a beautiful family down there. And when I found out about the father committing suicide, I came back up to Idaho, which is where my family all is.
[00:12:21] And so I was kind of like, I need to a, I need something to occupy my mind. Otherwise I’m going to sit here and I’m going to go crazy. And be like, I need to get this accomplished. Otherwise it’s going to get pushed out year after year. Who knows how long? And so yeah. Put my head to the grindstone and got that done.
[00:12:41] It was flying and it was like at the airport six hours a day. And I was like, oh my gosh, this poor baby. I’m sitting down all day long. Like she must be miserable, but then yeah. Yeah. Got my pilot’s license and that’s incredible where that goes. Yeah.
[00:12:57] Sophia Lebano: [00:12:57] So what’s your, yeah. What’s your plans with it now?
[00:13:00] Gemma Howard: [00:13:00] That’s bounced all over the place too initially got into it. Cause I wanted it to be a air force pilot. Yeah. That was my big goal for 20 years. And then, and I’m not doing that. And then I was like, oh, I’ll go commercial. And then, oh, maybe I want to be a Bush pilot. And now it’s like, oh. You know, private jet pilot, but I don’t know.
[00:13:22] We’ll see, I’m going to keep, hopefully obviously once she’s here and bigger, jumped back into it and hopefully get moving so that I can. Start figuring that out. Yeah. Not quite sure. I’m praying on that one. Yeah.
[00:13:37] Sophia Lebano: [00:13:37] You become Uber for people in the sky, right?
[00:13:40] Gemma Howard: [00:13:40] Exactly. I was like, push comes to shove, like I’ll just do, you know, tours or something.
[00:13:44] Sophia Lebano: [00:13:44] Like, that’d be really cool. I’d be all down for that. I love traveling. So that’s so great. And so, you know, one of the things in your bio on Instagram that I. And I wanted to talk about is the phrase that God draws straight with crooked lines. Where’s where did you find that? Did you come up with that?
[00:14:03] It’s so beautiful.
[00:14:05] Gemma Howard: [00:14:05] I don’t know where I heard it. Oh, like my mom says it all the time and she was one of the people that, you know, in the beginning, my parents both were. Surprise me and we’re super, super loving and supportive. And my mom kept saying like, God can go straight with the most crooked of lines.
[00:14:21] And I was like, I love that. And so then I put it in my bio and I found myself actually going back to that a lot, especially when, you know, I’m talking to other people or I’m trying to write a post I’m like, Hmm. But it’s so true in the sense of like, I mean, I compare myself. I mean, I don’t know if that’s good or not.
[00:14:41] Like I compare myself a lot to Mary Magdalene that could we look back and we’re like, God went to the most like rugged sinful people. Like those are the people he sought out and then turn them into saints and turn them into amazing people. And that’s exactly what he’s done with me. Like he [00:15:00] found me when I was super low and when I finally was ready to turn back to him, he was like, it’s okay, we’re going to take it.
[00:15:08] Awful really hard situation. And we’re going to just point it a little bit in a different direction and it’s going to be beautiful and it’s going to be amazing and it’s going to point other people to him. And I thought that was just, that’s amazing. The perfect line for this situation.
[00:15:22] Sophia Lebano: [00:15:22] No, it’s so, so true.
[00:15:24] It’s so inspiring. And it just creates such a good visual too. Like, I, I really do like that. Um, do you think looking back in hindsight over the last few months, Have you seen where God has worked in your life? Has it been something that’s evident or is this still taking a little bit of time?
[00:15:41] Gemma Howard: [00:15:41] It’s becoming very evident.
[00:15:43] The more I look at it, I still kind of have to look back and be like, where were you? Like sometimes it’s an anger. Like where were you in this moment? And then I’m like, oh my gosh, you were right there. I’m still, you know, I do find and recognize it more after the fact. But I’ve just seen them over and over again, work in my life of like, especially with, you know, by sharing that story.
[00:16:05] I didn’t expect anything to come of it. And I’ve had an army of people open up their arms and I’m like, there’s God showing me that, like, I am not an outcast and I have people to lean on. Just so surprising to me. And I’m like, okay, there’s a God moment. Um, as awful as it was like looking back at the whole situation with the father of like, that was a God moment, like God, like that was part of God’s plan in grand scheme of things.
[00:16:36] Right. I am now free and able to just focus on this baby because of that. And it’s been very beautiful, especially since I came from a place of like 10 months ago, like right before this happened, like I wouldn’t have even cared to, to like look for God and the things, and I would have just blamed and I would’ve been angry and I would have been like, what the heck?
[00:16:58] You don’t love me? Why would you allow this to happen to me? But now that I’ve gone through this. I really can look back and be like, wow, you were so present with me. And it reminds me of like my favorite story of all time. Um, I think it might be a quote of the guy who’s walking along the beach with the two sets of footprints.
[00:17:16]. Have you heard this one ? Hard times come and he’s like, there was only one set of footprints. God, like where were you? And he was like, in those times I carried you and I am like, that’s exactly what he’s done for me of like, I have not had to walk alone and he’s just had me with time and it’s been so beautiful.
[00:17:34] Sophia Lebano: [00:17:34] That’s amazing. It’s such an testament of real faith, you know, real, you know, blind faith that, and this moment in your life. Given these choices and you were like, well, it’s all up to you now. You’re like, I’ll just tell, take the one that you gave me. Um, so it’s hard. It really is hard, but I really do respect people who are faced with those decisions and they pick the one [00:18:00] that they know that God has definitely had his hand in.
[00:18:03] Um, which one, you know, leads me to ask is, do you have advice for people who might be in the same situation as you.
[00:18:11] Gemma Howard: [00:18:11] Yeah. I mean, yes, no thinking of, you know, when people ask me this question, what am I going to tell them? Because it is, I dunno, it’s hard to be like, you know, just choose life, like, you know, but my, I mean, it is possible and there are so many people who, even if you don’t.
[00:18:32] I think they will love, you will love you. And if those people aren’t immediately around you, like you can find people who will help you through that situation and as hard and as scary and as embarrassed or shamed, which I think is a good word to use. And. Like you, you will thank yourself later for choosing that.
[00:18:59] And I mean, again, like I just keep going back, like it’s not great advice, but like, it is possible. Like I. Able to, I don’t know. I was able to turn it around. Like I think the biggest thing is just having support people, like find that one person or 10 people or whatever, just wrap yourself in people that build you up.
[00:19:20] Kind of like the friends thing of like, if you’re in a, if you surround yourself with bad friends, you’ll probably go down that bad path. And then if you surround yourself with good people, they’ll raise you up and help you. And if you’re in this situation and you feel like the people you’re with. Are steering you to make you think of choosing abortion or just making it really hard, like, look for that one person who will conquer you and every decision and concrete you and just your courage.
[00:19:50] Cause that’s been the biggest thing for me of like, I don’t feel courageous, but because I have, you know, like my mom just being like, you are strong, you can do this. It’s made a world of difference. But I don’t, yeah, I’m still like fine tuning. Like what do I really think is the best advice for people? And I hope that I find something that I really feel like is the thing that, the word of advice, but I don’t know.
[00:20:17] I think, yeah, I really think that if I hadn’t had the people in my life that I did, I could have chosen a, just a very different decision or this would have been a lot harder and I wouldn’t. Succeeded in just life as I am now, which I’m very blessed.
[00:20:36] Sophia Lebano: [00:20:36] Yeah. Hey man. But I know whenever people ask for advice and obviously my situations are very different than yours, but you’re just like, I really want to like wow.
[00:20:46] Them with like a Ted talk.
[00:20:51] Just your genuine, you know, first of all, you’re like, I don’t really know everything and coming to you with my experience, but I think it really is beautiful [00:21:00] that community can be so important and can change everything for you no matter what situation you’re in. So I I’m, I’m glad for you and happy for you that you have had that situation.
[00:21:12] And then yes, you really are. And. So many people are without even realizing it. And again, you know, God, no matter what situation you’re in, he really can draw straight with crooked lines. I am going to be saying that for the rest of you. Great line. Thank you. That is so amazing. Do you have anything else you want to share with us before we’re finished?
[00:21:34] I need, I know you’re, you’re almost ready for the baby. That’s so exciting.
[00:21:40] Gemma Howard: [00:21:40] Yeah. Starting to be like, okay. Time to get the bouncy ball out and like get her out. I don’t know. I mean, my biggest thing, it just to other young woman is just, you know, Hey, I would love to be a person for other people to come to, to be, you know, to ask questions, to help, to be that support person.
[00:22:00] But also I want just other young woman to know that they are a lot stronger than they think they are. I’m not a feminist. Like I’m not a really like go girl power sort of person. I am noticing like, you know, you are so much stronger than you think you are. And if you’re in this situation and you’re facing that fear and that doubt in the face, like trust in yourself, like know that you are an incredible woman and that God has made you.
[00:22:38] To bring life into the world, whether or not the circumstance is what we would have wanted. Like you are built for that. And you are like, you can do it. You are totally capable of doing like moving mountains. I fully believe that. Yeah. And just those who aren’t going through the situation, I think too, You know, like all the people that have rallied around me, which has been beautiful of just like, you may not be in the situation that I am or the situation and other girls in, but rally around the young women who have chosen life.
[00:23:17] And if you see someone struggling or, you know, in that situation, just lift them up, rally them on and like just live, really live the pro-life through. You’re supportive other young women. I think that will be a big game changer of like, when we can finally stop just talking the talk and really walk the walk because like, and just really stand up and champion all the people who are choosing life.
[00:23:46] I think that’ll be a really beautiful, beautiful watch. Yeah.
[00:23:50] Sophia Lebano: [00:23:50] Well, there’s your piece of advice? You just said it without even knowing it
[00:23:53] Gemma Howard: [00:23:53] I’m slowly figuring it out.
[00:23:58] Sophia Lebano: [00:23:58] so true. Um, [00:24:00] yeah, I mean, I can add anything else to that because it is just, you know, like that the pro-life movement is so big and so vast, and there’s a lot you can do by just talking about it on social media, especially. Um, but to actually living it out for other people, and even if it’s not you in the situation, but like you said, supporting other women that is so important.
[00:24:23] And I, I’m glad to be part of that too, for you and for anybody else. Um, especially just in any situation and demand. So Gemma, thank you so much. That was so good. So powerful. I love it. Um, where can people connect with you? Baby updates and everything.
[00:24:39]Gemma Howard: [00:24:39] Yeah. Um, my, I will mainly be on Instagram. Um, my username is at,Iamgemmahoward
[00:24:47] um, and yeah. Yeah. Feel free to reach out message me. I love hearing from people. I was so excited when you reached out to me, I was like, oh my gosh she’s so sweet. Like directly went to your podcast. I was like, yes, this is so cool.
[00:25:02] Sophia Lebano: [00:25:02] Thank you. Yeah. But yes, I will link up below for you guys to check out. I will definitely be on high alert.
[00:25:11] I’m so excited for you and for any other mom, who’s going through this too, because life really is so beautiful again. So yes, Gemma. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Your story is so amazing. And I know, I know God is working in so many ways in your life and so excited to see.
[00:25:26] Gemma Howard: [00:25:26] Thank you so much. I’m so happy.
[00:25:28] I got to do this and yeah. Oh, it’s so great to talk to you.
[00:25:33] Sophia Lebano: [00:25:33] So welcome.
[00:25:34] So thank you guys for tuning into this week’s episode of here now, podcast have a wonderful week and we’ll see you then. .