Hello everyone and welcome back to Hear and Now Podcast, my name’s Sophia, and in this episode, I wanted to do something a little different. I want to step away from talking away from hearing loss, at least just for this episode, and talk about something that has been placed on my heart. If you’re new here, make sure you click subscribe so you can be the first to know when a new episode goes up. I am going to be trying to post on Tuesdays for a little while, and see how that goes. If you haven’t done so already, follow me on instagram at @sophialebano, like the facebook page, and as always, transcript link is in the show notes or at sophialebano.com/podcast.
So, like I said, this has been something thats been on my heart and in my mind for the last week, and I feel called to share it with you all listening. As most of you know, I had to make a hard decision to leave a school that wasn’t going to support what I need in order to succeed. I was feeling a little down about it, because I feel like I was going to be missing out on that freshman experience. Taking this semester off was going to be much needed, so that I can find myself again. That may sound dramatic, but to be completely honest, I haven’t felt like myself for a little bit. My grandfather’s health began declining two days after I had my surgery. Obviously, his needs took precedence over mine, but I was almost forced to be okay and get back into routine so I could step up and take care of my siblings when my mom needed to be there for my grandfather. He slowly began declining, and eventually passed away in July of 2018. It was a hard summer for my family because we also had to care for my grandmother who has to be taken care of in her own declining health. That was the summer leading up to senior year. I was already really upset about his passing and I had no time to recover for myself after surgery. And like I always say, I don’t want to talk about senior year, but if I ever find the courage to, we’ll just see what happens on that one.
The reason I bring all this up is not to be a sob story or a pity party, but rather for people to understand why it is important to rest, speak life, and find yourself.
In my high school years, I lost myself. I lost all of my natural hearing and had two major surgeries, on top of that, I switched into multiple new schools and I felt out of place. Its been a long time that I feel like I’ve felt in place with something. To be honest though, the last time I felt in place was during my junior year. But during my other high school years, it’s been hard to find my direction and pray that I’m following God’s will for me. Now here I am, in this place again where I had no direction. I had a whole plan of what I was going to be doing for the next four years of my life.
Two weeks ago, a friend invited me to go on a sunset walk around the park. I am so grateful that I did, because she spoke life into me. I felt so fulfilled that night and went away with a new perspective. God is walking side by side. But then that week, I let my anxiety get the best of me and I was angry at myself. I had a job I wanted to go after. When I walked in, I panicked and had to leave. I sobbed the whole way home. I did retail therapy and asked if they had a job opening. That Sunday, my mom again spoke life into me. I was prayed over by our priest, and I felt Jesus hug me and tell me I was going to be okay. I cried many hours wondering what His purpose and intention was for me. That Sunday, I decided to make a change. I was going to be doing things that were only life giving, I would speak life into others, and speak life into myself.
– I decided to put away social media. I know I am sorta trying to build a platform on here, but I realized that I can still do that without spending hours looking at people and posts that only make me feel worse in the end.
- I found something that I love to do. I have always dreamed of being a fashion or costume designer, and sewing is something I love to do. So, I went to my basement and set up a station, bought some patterns and fabric, and have had the time of my life creating. It’s not perfect yet, but I’ve channeled my energy into that instead of staring at a screen.
- I spoke life into others. Rather than feeling down about myself and projecting that onto others, I chose to be kind and wish the best for others and that they can speak life.
- I spoke life into myself. I told myself to put on an outfit that I feel confident in. I told myself that life is not perfect and I don’t have to be. I told myself that God’s will is the only one that matters and I am going to find myself and be the person I was called to be.
I want to empower you to do the same. Put away your phone, do something life giving, speak life into yourself and others. Breathe life, speak life, be life. Be vulnerable, find your community, never stop dreaming, and be present.
I am going to leave you with some quotes.
If you are searching for the light around you and you can’t find it, be the light. Be the light of someone else’s day. You will change someone’s life around you without even realizing it.
“then Jesus told them, “you are going to have the light just a little while longer. walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. believe in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of the light.” – John 12:35-36 // go out and spread a little light today.
“words kill. Words give life, they’re either poison or fruit. You choose.” Proverbs 18:21
Go make a beautiful life for yourself and do whatever it takes. I am sending my love to each and every one of you, and I am praying that you find your life and speak it to others.
Have a blessed and wonderful week everyone and I will see you next week. Bye!
Side note:
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